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Mom Returns to Work
Whichever way you do it, babies are expensive. You either lose one salary, or you pay someone else's. But it's not just disposable income that influences our decision on whether to stay at home or go back to work: there are other factors:
- It is possible to generalize and say that our society encourages mothers to return to work, and does not value mothers who stay at home as much as we would like. The fact that running a family home and caring for children is far harder work than many other jobs, with no promotion or financial reward, is often overlooked. This can make employment an attractive option.
- Most of our decisions in life are based upon our own experience or those of people close to us who we trust. Decisions such as whether to return to work are often made by looking back on our own childhood. It may be that we don't want to give up as much as we felt our mothers gave up for us, or it may be that our mother held down a responsible job and managed the family too. On the other hand, we may wish to replicate the childhood spent at home with family.
- Some jobs can be easily transformed to offer flexible employment, and some are more difficult to adapt. If you work in an office, for example, and your company has a rigid approach to overtime and early morning meetings, it can seem hard to believe that you will still be part of the team, and not resented by colleagues, if you have to leave at 5pm to pick up your children. However, employers are now obliged to offer a more family friendly approach to working mothers under sex discrimination legislation, so the situation may not be as out of the question as it once was.
- Some women prefer not to depend on the income of their partner. They need to know that they are financially independent if ever the time came when they needed it. The reality is that more and more couples are divorcing, and many parents want to protect themselves and their children against any possible disadvantage.
It is a great deal easier to go back to work if you know that your mother or another close relative is prepared to meet your childcare needs. This can remove a lot of the anxiety about leaving your child in the hands of a stranger. Having friends in the neighborhood who have already found a high standard of childcare in nurseries or child minders will also inspire the confidence to find the right solution.
- Lone parents have a different set of issues to grapple with. By returning to work, they will benefit from the social side of employment: colleagues, support and adult company. A single parent who stays at home with his or her baby may find the experience isolating and restrictive. But it may be important for them to reassure their child of their own presence.
If you worked through your pregnancy you may be planning to work when your baby is born. However, as the time approaches to return to work, many mums have doubts and fears about leaving their baby and coping with the combined demands of career and motherhood.
As a working mum, you have much to offer your child. Every mum has to make choices about staying at home or going back to work, whether full time or part time, and whatever choice you make it will be the right one for you and your family.
Returning to work because you enjoy it is an excellent reason to do so. It's good for you and your positive feelings will be passed on to your baby.
Yes. And it's quite normal to feel guilty. But as long as you're well organized and both you and your child are happy with your arrangements for childcare, then you have no reason to feel guilty about combining work and motherhood.
Don't be influenced by other people telling you what you should or shouldn't do. If you've decided to go back to work, try to ignore people who make you feel you should be at home. As long as your child is happy and thriving, that's the most important thing.
You'll probably have a few concerns as returning to work gets closer. There's the obvious one about leaving your child in the care of someone else. Then there'll be the ones about your own ability to do your job. You're not alone - most mothers experience the same feelings.
You'll probably find settling back into work quite tough at first. This may depend on how long you've been on maternity leave and how much has changed in your absence. You may also worry that who ever looked after your job while you were away may have done a better job than you. However, if you've prepared good and detailed hand over notes, it will reflect well on you that your temporary replacement was well briefed. Try to ensure that you are equally well briefed when you return.
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