The Joy of Sex During Pregnancy

If you want to get pregnant, you have sex. No surprises there. But what about sex while you're pregnant? The answers aren't always as clear. Here's what you need to know about sex during pregnancy.

Is it OK to have sex during pregnancy?

As long as your pregnancy is proceeding normally, you can have sex as often as you like. But you may not always want to. At first, hormonal fluctuations, fatigue and nausea may sap your sexual desire. During the second trimester, increased blood flow to your sexual organs and breasts may rekindle your desire for sex. But by the third trimester, weight gain, back pain and other symptoms may once again dampen your enthusiasm for sex.

Can sex cause a miscarriage?

Many couples worry that sex during pregnancy will cause a miscarriage, especially in the first trimester. But sex isn't a concern. Early miscarriages are usually related to chromosomal abnormalities or other problems in the developing baby - not to anything you do or don't do.

Does sex harm the baby?

The baby is protected by the amniotic fluid in your uterus, as well as the mucous plug that blocks the cervix throughout most of your pregnancy. Your partner's penis won't touch the baby.

Are any sexual positions off-limits during pregnancy?

As your pregnancy progresses, experiment to find the most comfortable positions. There's just one caveat. Avoid lying flat on your back during sex. If your uterus compresses the veins in the back of your abdomen, you may feel lightheaded or nauseous.

What about oral sex?

If you have oral sex, make sure your partner does not blow air into your vagina. Rarely, a burst of air may block a blood vessel (air embolism) - which could be a life-threatening condition for you and the baby.

Can orgasms trigger premature labor?

Orgasms can cause uterine contractions. But these contractions are different from the contractions you'll feel during labor. Research indicates that if you have a normal pregnancy, orgasms - with or without intercourse - don't lead to premature labor or premature birth.

Are there times when sex should be avoided?

Although most women can safely have sex throughout pregnancy, sometimes it's best to be cautious.

Should my partner use a condom?

Exposure to sexually transmitted diseases during pregnancy increases the risk of infections that can affect your pregnancy and your baby's health. If you have a new sexual partner during pregnancy, use a condom when you have sex.

What if I don't want to have sex?

That's OK. There's more to a sexual relationship than intercourse. Share your needs and concerns with your partner in an open and loving way. If sex is difficult, unappealing or off-limits, try cuddling, kissing or massage.

After the baby is born, how soon can I have sex?

Whether you give birth vaginally or by C-section, your body will need time to heal. Many doctors recommend waiting six weeks before resuming intercourse. This allows time for your cervix to close and any tears or a repaired episiotomy to heal.

If you're too sore or exhausted to even think about sex, maintain intimacy in other ways. Share short phone calls throughout the day or occasional soaks in the tub. When you're ready to have sex, take it slow - and use a reliable method of contraception.

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Many expectant parents worry that sex can be harmful during pregnancy. They fear that intercourse could hurt the baby, or even cause miscarriage. Some are afraid that the baby somehow "knows" that sex is taking place. The partner sometimes worries that intercourse might cause discomfort or pain for the pregnant woman. Worries like this are common and completely normal, but most of them are unfounded.

If your pregnancy is considered to be high risk, you may need to be more cautious than other women. Your health care provider may advise you to avoid intercourse for all or part of your pregnancy.

The Changes of Pregnancy

Many women are not very interested in sex while they are pregnant. Exhaustion, raging hormones, tender breasts and self-consciousness about her growing girth can put a pregnant women's sex drive on hold. Take heart in the fact that most couples resume an active sex life sometime during the first year of their baby's life.

Many women find that pregnancy makes them want sex more than they did before they became pregnant. This sex drive is caused by hormonal changes. For some women, newfound voluptuousness can play a role in making them feel sexier than ever.

Positions that work before pregnancy and early in pregnancy can be uncomfortable or even unsafe at later stages of the baby's development. For example, a woman should avoid lying flat on her back after the fourth month of pregnancy, because the weight of the growing uterus puts pressure on major blood vessels. Fortunately, there are alternatives to the traditional missionary position, such as lying sideways or having the woman on top.

As for the baby, he or she has no idea what Mom and Dad are doing. The baby is well protected by a cushion of fluid in the womb and by the mom's abdomen.

What you need to know: Unless your health care provider advises you otherwise, sex during pregnancy is safe for you and the baby. The baby is protected by the amniotic fluid in the womb and by your abdomen. Some women with high-risk pregnancies are advised to avoid intercourse during pregnancy. Your health care provider will tell you if you have a high-risk pregnancy. What you can do: If you are concerned, ask your health care provider if it's okay to have sex. Talk to your partner about each of your needs and concerns in an open and loving way. If you work together, you can probably figure out how to put a smile on each other's face. To avoid sexually transmitted infections, have sex with only one person who doesn't have any other sexual partners and/or use a condom when having sex. Discuss HIV testing for you and your partner with your health care provider.

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