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For parents of Middle Schoolers
How can I help at home? How do I contact his teachers? Will my child be safe? How do I know if there's a problem? How do I know if my child understands what is being taught? How can I continue to show up at school if my teen says she would rather be caught dead than have her mother or father show up? Here are some brief tips: You should know the school building. Ask for a tour of the school so that you know where classrooms, gym, yards and bathrooms are. Immediately introduce yourself to your child's teachers. While most of us are busy with work and other obligations, taking a moment to introduce you is time well spent. Make sure that your child's teachers have a number where you can be reached, and that you have a number where they can be reached. When you get teachers' phone numbers, also ask for a schedule of when they can be contacted. Introduce yourself to the counselors and deans as well. You should know what the way of learning new is in your child's school and what teacher's methods of approach are. So get rundown on teaching methods. After your child has attended school for two or three weeks, sit down with her and ask a little about what kinds of teaching methods are used (discussion, written work, group work), what kinds of books are used, and how the homework schedule works. Sometimes this is covered in a general parent open house, but a one-to-one discussion may bring concerns to your attention if your child's learning style is different from the classroom approach. If your child is unable or unwilling to talk about school with you (not unusual at this age), call teachers who can clarify for you what how they teach and what their expectations are. All these efforts will clearly show the teacher that you care. Be patient and attentive with your child. Listen carefully to your teen. Should he express concern about not understanding an assignment, lend a hand. If the situation continues, contact the teacher. Most teachers welcome that kind of contact since it allows them to know that you care and are interested in making things better. Avoid placing blame on the teacher; ask how you can help. Should you feel that your teen feels unsafe at school for any reason, call the principal. Chances are that the problem is not serious, but it helps everyone if you keep in touch. Advice To Pass On To Your Teen Here are some tips for students in making the leap into middle school less scary: • Help teachers to get to know you. Speak up in class when called on. • Ask for help when you're still new; later, peers will expect you to know. • A student alone is more likely to help a newcomer than a group of students. • Decide how you best keep tasks in your mind without having to depend on someone to remind you. From Time To Time You Will Have To Show Up At School But what if your teen is embarrassed by your coming to school? Here's what you can do: • Give your teens a choice: "Would you like to go with me when I talk to your counselor?" Don't push it if he/she doesn't want to go. • Acknowledge his/her feelings: "I understand this may embarrass you." • State what you need. "I really feel it's my responsibility to go the school and meet your teachers..." Your Youngster Needs Your Participation All parents can make a contribution in helping their children do well. Middle schoolers need your participation even though they may not say so. Ask your child if he has any messages from school in his backpack. Read these communications and respond when necessary. • Make sure your child is at school on time. Promptness is a plus at middle school, as it is in the world outside. • Come to every school event you can, including teacher conferences. Your child will sure appreciate your presence. • Read to your child. Read to yourself. Turn off the television. Model the importance of quiet time with a book or magazine.
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