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Your Child Stays Alone

Your Child Stays Alone
A survey of 18 pediatricians, 96 police officers, and 209 parents asked at what ages kids can be left alone without supervision. For 15 minutes or less, the average age given was 9. For an hour or more, the age was 12. For babysitting, the age was 14.

Alone in A Crowd

Ideally, your child should know the following points before he is ever alone in public. Sit down with your child and talk about each.

Does your child know how to honor his feelings? If someone makes him uncomfortable, that's an important signal.

Does your child know it's okay to rebuff and defy adults?

Does your child know it's okay to be assertive?

Does your child know how to ask for assistance or help?

Does your child know how to choose who to ask?

Does your child know how to describe his peril?

Does your child know it's okay to strike, even to injure, someone if he believes he is in danger, and that you'll support any action he takes as a result of feeling uncomfortable or afraid?

Does your child know it's okay to make noise, to scream, to yell, to run?

Does your child know to fully resist ever going anywhere out of public view with someone he doesn't know, and particularly to resist going anywhere with someone who tries to persuade him?

Does my child need a sitter or is he ready to stay home alone?

There is no set age at which all kids are ready to stay home alone. You know your child best. Consider factors like:

• Can your child make good decisions?

• Do they know how to handle an emergency?

• Will they make good use of their time?

• How mature are they?

• Does your child know and follow house rules?

• Are they familiar with safety guidelines, such as what to do in case of fire?

Moving your child to this level of independence is a process. If you think your child is ready to stay home alone - make sure they know all the important safety and house rules. Talk to your child about their feelings about being home alone. Start small, with short periods away, and gradually increase the time you are away if everyone is comfortable with it.

Well perhaps you child would be alone in the house coming from school and waiting for you to come back from work. All this time through he or she should be careful and before being left alone must learn some rules. If you are sure you can leave your child and everything would be ok - please check one more time those tips beforehand.

If your child is home alone for a few hours after school:

• Set up rules for locking doors and windows, answering the door or telephone.

• Make sure he or she checks in with you or a neighbor immediately after school.

• Agree on rules for inviting friends over and for going to a friend's house when no adult is home.

Take time to listen carefully to children's fears and feelings about people or places that scare them or make them feel uneasy. Tell them to trust their instincts. Take complaints about bullies and other concerns seriously.

What is your child going to do being alone? You should always know your child's home schedule.

Here are some things for parents to consider - look at the results of some survey and draw your conclusions:

A study that compared college students who were former latchkey kids with nonlatchkey kids showed no difference between the groups in personality or academics.
Children who are on their own for at least 11 hours a week are twice as likely to use alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs.
Kids (fifth- to seventh-graders) home alone more than two days a week were four times as likely to report getting drunk.
Self-care is more risky in urban environments than in suburban.
Some kids stay with friends under adult supervision. Others use their free time after school to "hang out" with peers. The latter group is at higher risk for trouble than the former. 
Girls without supervision tend to be more at risk for problems than boys of the same age.
When more than one child is left alone, the children are likely to behave somewhat more disruptively or ignore each other than when a parent is present.

You might feel most comfortable starting out with short trial runs, leaving your child home alone for 15 minutes or so and gradually increasing the amount of time your child spends alone. Take it slowly, staying within the comfort level of both you and your child.

Before leaving your kids at home alone, make sure that they are mature enough to be on their own (even if only for a few hours).

Here are some measures you can take that will helpt to protect your kids even when you are not around:
  • Let your kids know exactly what you expect of them - discuss your house rules.
  • Review basic safety rules on a regular basis.
  • Discuss how to respond in the event of an emergency situation, and role-play responses.
  • Post all important phone numbers, and special instructions in a central location, such as on the fridge.
  • Explain that you expect your child to come straight home from school, and to call you if there is any delay.
  • Remind your child to never accept a ride.
  • Ask your child to call you or a trusted neighbor as soon as he gets home from school.
  • Instruct your child not to enter your house if the door is open, unlocked, or if anything seems unusual.
  • Remind your child not to answer the door (without your prior approval) - Install a peephole at his eye level.
  • Instruct your child that he should never let someone at the door or on the phone know he is alone.
  • Be sure you feel that your child can comfortably handle using the telephone, operate the security system/door, and can safely use any appliances they might be using after school.
  • Be sure you have a working fire extinguisher and your child knows how to operate it.
  • Plan escape routes and meeting place outside your home in case of fire.
  • Ask that your child let you know immediately if anything makes them uncomfortable or frightened.



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