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Being a Role Model for Your Teen
The teen years are a critical time for role models in your children's lives. It is so common to hear and often you will find teens have a hard time talking to their parents. Teens often feel more comfortable talking to another trusted adult about some of the things going on in their lives, even in the closest families.
Of course you would prefer your teen would go to an adult when they need to talk something important out, instead of relying on their friends who may not have the insight an older, more experienced adult would have. Obviously you have no real control over who your teen goes to for advice, but there are a number of ways you can steer your teen in the right direction.
Extracurricular activities are the best chance your teen has for interacting with other adults. There are all kinds of activities your teen can be involved with, here are some that come to mind: school clubs, scouts, church youth group, sports, music, community service, just to name a few.
One word of caution, however. Remember that every group has its leader and it depends a lot in the life of your teen his/her relationship with this person and the way the teen is treated in the group. Talk to your teen about their activities and get a feel for yourself the effectiveness of the group leader. You have to make sure that the leader's person is a good role model, and don't make any negative influence in your teen's life. There is the potential of bad leaders in any activity, including in a church setting, and it is the parents' responsibility to make sure their teen is in a positive atmosphere, influenced by mature leaders.
Teens who don't have regular contact with mature adults of both sexes often have a hard time later in normal adult relationships. Involvement in group activities is especially great for teens of single parents. Being exposed to "normal" at this age very much increases the teen's chances of growing into a well-adjusted adult.
You should understand also that often other adults can help your teen in ways that you can't, mostly due to big differences in personalities. You can be very close still with your teenager but as an adult person you should know how important it is to help to develop the natural abilities at this impressionable age.
It is very easy to be critical of people who are not like us, and parents and teens very easily fall into this trap. The best thing to do is be honest about your own abilities, and of the abilities of your teen, and do whatever is necessary to find outside influences for your teen. The more you can help your teen develop their abilities now, the less they will have to do on their own later (often, the hard way).
And don't forget, you are a role model too. Get involved in the lives of your teen's friends, or volunteer to help in a group activity in some way, even if only occasionally. Try to show only positive examples to your children!
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Copyright © www.babyart.org, 2006-2008: Teen: Being a Role Model for Your Teen
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