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Helping Trobled Teens
Look closer to find if there are these warning signs: • violent behavior • out of touch with reality • drop in grades and school performance • sudden personality changes and mood swings • self destructive actions or language (suicide threats or extreme diet & exercise) • low self-esteem • reclusive tendencies • debilitating fears Any of those behaviors done on a frequent basis can indicate a problem. At this point you should seek outside assistance. Don't be too proud to ask for help. And don't think that there's nothing can't been done in such an unpredictable age. Maybe you think that you do (or have done) all you could. Or what if you feel your efforts aren't working (or aren't good enough) first enlist the assistance of your extended circle of friends and family. Get everyone involved to strengthen the spirits of your teen. Show him that he has a support system in place that he can count in. Work on building back trust in your relationship. If your child opens up to another family member better than you, keep your resentment inside, the focus should be on helping your teen. Sometimes you need to bring in professionals. Don't wait too long on this step if your child is getting out of control: a delay can be costly. But where should you turn next? Consider these options: - Social workers - these individuals are often called in to work with families as a group and are quite familiar with emotional problems in a social setting. They can help identify issues related to family dynamics. This can be helpful if there are frequent conflicts at home. - School guidance counselor - this person deals with teenagers (especially troubled ones) on a daily basis, they are an excellent resource for insight into what might be happening among the social scenes at school. They also have quick easy access to your child during the day. Don't forget that your child's behaviour may differ from what you see at home. - Outside counselors and psychologists - These professionals have degrees in counseling and therapy. Some specialize in therapy while others focus on testing. It's best to find someone who deals with teenagers a lot, they usually relate better to the younger generation. - Psychiatrists - these are medical doctors who are allowed to prescribe medication and can hospitalize patients. Therapy can become expensive so check with your insurance plan to see which services are covered. Don't forget that school counselors are typically free. You could also contact a counseling training programs, and state run offices as well as local university or college or free clinics. Some offices offer sliding scale pricing for lower income families. It's important not to let money stop you from seeking help. And please don't waste the time. The wellbeing of your child and your family depend on it. Teenagers are people just like adults, often with very adult feelings, troubles and experiences trapped inside a hormone crazed body. They often get overlooked and passed off as too young, too inexperienced, and subjected to adults saying, "Someday they'll learn". For them it is just the start of their independent life in our big world. The problem is that they are learning now and trying to figure out where they fit in the world, now and in the future. They could easily become very unstable adults if they don't get a handle on themselves now. Troubled teens left to deal with their problems on their own often develop bouts of criminal behavior, suicidal thoughts or actions, running away or joining a cult. It's the parent's responsibility to be watching for unusual behavior and working with their child to find a solution. It doesn't just fall to the parents, though, everyone in the circle of a teen's life needs to be supporting them and guiding them into adulthood. That includes grandparents, siblings, classmates, friends and extended family. Be patient with your teen though try to consider the slightest shifts in their behaviour. In fact, trying to hide or ignore the problem often makes it worse. Let your child know early that you are in this together and deal with it head on. Teenagers as they are granted some adult privlidges in this age such as staying out later, having own money and free time - run into dangerous situations that sometimes get the best of them. When accidents happen that don't have happy endings they are faced with the harsh fact that for example life isn't something to be taken lightly. It is a frightening revelation for those who don't have the support system to face it. If teens can't find support at home they will turn elsewhere, whether it be other people or to drugs and alcohol. Those lead to more serious criminal acts and the spiral just continues down from there. Pulling a trouble teen out of that spiral is important and picking up on the behavioral patterns in the beginning is crucial. Teenagers cannot be strictly controlled, but they can be guided and molded.
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