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Teens under pressure and influence

Teens under pressure and influence
There's nothing worse for most young people than being different from their peers, or being shown up and embarrassed in front of them. This may go further than the clothes they wear. If there's a fashion for tattoos or piercing, for example, your teen may beg you to give permission - or worse, just go behind your back and do it anyway.

Young people themselves often talk about peer pressure and see it as creating extra stress. One example might be the pressure from the peer group to engage in sexual behaviour earlier than one wants: "Everyone else is doing it, so why aren't you?" But good education in sex and relationships from the school - and strong support from family and friends - can help get this pressure in perspective.

Not all teenagers respond in the same way to peer-group pressure: 11- to 14-year-olds appear to be more influenced by it than older teenagers, for example.

There are also important individual differences to take into account. Some teenagers are simply more independent than others and can withstand pressure better. Research tells us that it's teenagers who receive little support at home who are the most likely to be influenced by the peer group.

Teens in high school today face competing pressures that can contribute to risky behaviors, including the use of marijuana, other illicit drugs and alcohol, and sexual activity. These behaviors are positioned as "under the influence" and the new brand calls on teens to rise "above" them.

Staying "above the influence" is recognized by teens as being the polar opposite of being "under the influence" of both illicit drugs and those who pressure teens to use drugs.

It is not as hard as one may think to refuse to buckle in to peer pressure. Most teens could care less whether you give in or not, it is how you say no that counts.

A few important things for teens to remember when saying "no":

Politely refuse, don't freak out, don't yell, don't call them names. A simple, "Nah, that's not really my thing!" will usually be good enough.
Resist the urge to preach. Don't over explain your position. If your peers are doing something like drugs or alcohol, refuse on behalf of yourself.
Don't put yourself at risk by refusing. If the situation is way out of control quietly and discreetly walk away and try to get help.
Don't make a scene. The bigger deal YOU make of your saying no, the bigger it will seem to THEM. Whenever possible shrug it off and immediately turn your attentions elsewhere.
Remember, in the end, it really only matters what YOU think of YOU. You are the only person who has to live with your choices and the consequences of your actions.

It really comes down to immaturity. Teens hate being told they are immature but the fact of the matter is singling people out for being different, especially if that difference is beyond their control, is an extremely immature way of behaving.

Being different does not mean you are dangerous, or weird, or undeserving of respect. Unfortunately, because all teens are struggling with identity issues any difference that stands out is usually shunned. There is no good reason why this happens and there is really no good way to stop it from happening.

Education about differences, what makes people different, and how these differences really effect how a person behaves is a good start but it won't fix the root of the problem which is a basic and instinctive fear of things that seem radically different from the norm. There is no excuse for this and the best thing to do is ignore harmless differences whenever possible.



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