You Impact Your Teen's Values

As a matter of fact, the word "seen" can have a major impact upon the development of your teenager's values concerning love, sex, and marriage. Teenagers absorb imitate the kinds of relationship they see everyday from those who bring them up and very often they tend to repeat the scheme in their grown-up lives.

What values about love, commitment, and marriage are we formulate in our teenager's young, impressionable minds? Are we aware that whatever we do with our lives we are the role-models for those who we raise.

Your Marriage's Impact On Your Teenager's Relational Values

Learning by watching other people's behaviors is an important part of our lives. Attitudes, habits, and standards are borrowed from others with whom we identify, such as our parents. A teenager's values of love and marriage are impacted by his parent's relationship through modeling. This includes many of the things we do within our marital relationship.

"Visiting the iniquity of fathers on the children and on the grandchildren to the third and fourth generations" - that is how Scripture makes very clear this generational influence. Furthermore, research studies confirm this generational pattern. One study shows that abused children often become abusive parents and spouses. Psychologists' analyses verify for example that nine out of ten times the daughter of an alcoholic father will marry an alcoholic. Others corroborate that children from broken homes reported that in their marital relationships they experience greater difficulty with trust, loyalties, security, and conflict than did children from intact families. The most staggering statistic is that divorce rates were as much as 50 percent higher for children who grew up in divorced families than for children raised in intact families.

It's obvious that parents have an important role in teaching children about love, commitment, and marriage. So what can we do as parents to pass on the positive characteristics of love to our teenagers?

The Secrets of an Effective Model

Do you want your teenager to inherit only the best aspects of personalities he sees around? The first aspect of an effective model is to decide what qualities you want your teenagers to learn. Whatever the quality, imagine what your son or daughter would look like if they possessed that trait. Imagining this provides an accurate picture so you'll know when they possess the trait. This also allows you to determine the specific ways your marriage reflects the same characteristics and values. Asking yourself: "What does my teenager observe when he looks at my life and relationship?" will help you understand if you are on the right way in your trying to impart the good traits.

The second way to become an effective model is being all the time conscious to what are the results of your acts. Your children need to see the consequences of your behavior-positive or negative. This is important because it indicates what your teenager may receive for imitating you. If as a child you feel safe and secure that your parents stay together because they committed to each other.

As you strive to be an effective model for your children, it may be a good idea to get involved in a small group with other parents who share your desire. Small groups are a powerful source of support because they not only provide accountability, but also encouragement and the perspectives of others.

As times go by and your teens become adult you'll observe the results of your efforts, as seeing your child's creating a good family and leads a happy family life is a great reword and fortune for responsible parents.