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Questions and Answers on Lovemaking to Optimize Conception

Questions and Answers on Lovemaking to Optimize Conception
Q: We have been trying to conceive for over a year. Our doctor said to have intercourse on days 10, 12 and 14. Shouldn't we have sex every day?

A: The reason your doctor recommended making love every other day is because it takes about 48 hours for the sperm count to build up to their most fertile levels. The more sperm, the higher the chance for conception. You want the highest count of the most mature sperm to maximize the chances of fertilization.



Q: I have heard that you can have sex too often when trying to conceive. Is this really true?

A: Women are only fertile during the few days leading up to ovulation. That is when they produce a wet quality cervical fluid that gradually starts to resemble a man's seminal fluid.

So, in the days leading up to ovulation, when your cervical mucus is wet or you have a wet vaginal sensation:

Have intercourse every day if your partner's sperm count is normal.

Have intercourse every other day if your partner's sperm count is low. (Men with low sperm counts need the extra day to build up to higher, more fertile levels.)

During the rest (non-fertile part) of your cycle you can have intercourse as desired since there is no egg to fertilize. 



Q: My partner and I have been trying to conceive. These very scheduled sexual encounters for the purpose of conceiving, rather than to fulfill any sexual desire, has killed our sex drive. What can we do to bring back the passion?

A: The intrusion of "sex on demand" has challenged the intimacy in your relationship.

You have been able to make time to enjoy sex before and you can do it again. Take the time now to rekindle the fire.

Schedule a weekly date. Spend time together and refocus your attention on each other, going out to dinner, sharing a bath or going on an afternoon hike.

Consider ways to redirect your attention to sex. Rediscover your bodies and renew your sensuality. Reconnect to your sensuality with warm bodies bathed in water and candlelight, music, massages and private time together.

Spending this time, refocued on your relationship, and not conception, will help bring back the passion you desire.



Q:  Are there sexual positions that would increase my chances for conceiving?

A: There are a number of things that you can do to increase your chances of conception.

Best Positions

The man-on-top position works well when trying to conceive. Place a small pillow under your hips following intercourse so that your cervix basically rests in the pool of semen for a short time (perhaps 20 minutes or so). This will allow the sperm time to easily swim up through the cervix. (Important Note: Do not use a large pillow, or you may sabotage your efforts, since the sperm may then puddle behind your cervix. Not a good place to be when trying to reach that egg.)

If you have a tipped uterus, you may have better luck having intercourse from behind (hands and knees position). By having intercourse in this position it allows the sperm better access to the cervix.

Positons to Avoid

For most women it makes sense to avoid straddling their partner while making love -- woman-on-top, sitting or standing -- since this can cause the semen to leak and may result in fewer sperm making their way to the egg.



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